Grief is the last act of love that we give.
Grief is not a problem to be solved – it’s an experience to be carried. It’s one of those core human experiences that everyone endures. Yet very few of us are taught how to navigate, how to talk about, or how to carry grief. Grief should be help in ways that honor ourselves and those that we have lost.
Sometimes it feels like our culture puts a time-limit on grief. Your job may give you 3 days of bereavement, after a week or two calls and people checking-in on you may stop altogether.
What is ambiguous loss?
Perhaps you went through a loss that no one else knew about and there wasn’t a card made for your experience. There is something called ambiguous loss – where we lose something that isn’t tangible.
Ambiguous loss can include growing older, having a chronic health condition, becoming a parent, having your children grow up and leave the nest, the loss of an identity, or having to adjust to a new culture. Your loss may be a person, a job, a home, a relationship, or something that wasn’t so easy to define.
Most people don’t want to tackle the concept of grief. We are inundated with messages that we just need to find peace. That we ought to think about all of the good times to get us through. Very few of us are given the time and space necessary to properly address our grief as it arises.
How we can help you
If you are thinking about talking to someone about the grief and loss you are dealing with, we want you to know what to expect.
In counseling, you can work through your grief without judgmental reactions to your feelings and beliefs. Your therapist will provide a caring, welcoming space. Here you are free to speak your mind and express your feelings. Through grief therapy, you can begin the healing process.
The therapeutic process
During your first sessions, you and your therapist will discuss the loss that brought you to counseling. You will work with your therapy to create a treatment plan that meets your needs and helps you to process at a pace that honors you.
In additional sessions, you will spend time getting support and learning skills. Tools that will help you to manage the interpersonal distress, distress tolerance, and relational-building skills. In time, these will help you as you adjust to your new normal outside of therapy.
Understanding how to acknowledge, sit with, and address the wide range of emotions that can accompany grief is a key part of this life long journey. Your therapist can help you work through this process.
NAVIGATING THE PAIN
Grief in itself is complex. If you already struggle with depression, anxiety, or area a trauma survivor, new or additional grief can be overwhelming.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Therapy allows you to be with someone who can listen, support, and help you find ways to carry this experience in healthy ways.
GRIEF CAN RE-EMERGE
Even if your loss is not recent, or perhaps not shared with others, there is no wrong time to talk about the things that have impacted you.
“I was going through a difficult time and Dr. Tam really helped me out. Healing was easier with support.”
Testimony from a participant