Grief is not a problem to be solved – it’s an experience to be carried. It’s one of those core human experiences that everyone endures, and yet, very few of us are taught how to navigate, how to talk about, or how to carry grief in ways that honor ourselves, the situations we have endured, and those that we have lost.

Sometimes it feels like our culture puts a time-limit on grief. Your job may give you 3 days of bereavement, after a week or two calls and people checking-in on you may stop altogether. Or, perhaps you went through a loss that no one else knew about and there wasn’t a card made for your experience. There is something called ambiguous loss – where we lose something that isn’t tangible. An example of this is growing older, having a chronic health condition, being a parent, but having your children grow up and leave the nest, the loss of an identity, or having to adjust to a new culture. Whether your loss was a person, a job, a home, a relationship – or something that wasn’t so easy to define, most people don’t want to tackle the concept of grief. Or, we are inundated with messages that we just need to find peace and think about all of the good times to get us through. We didn’t get a choice in the losses that we have faced, and to then be told that we need to make peace and move on can be dishonoring

If you are thinking about talking to someone about the grief and loss you are dealing with, we want you to know what to expect.

In counseling, you can work through your grief without judgmental reactions to your feelings and beliefs. Your therapist will provide a caring, welcoming space where you are free to speak your mind and express your feelings. Through grief therapy, you can begin the healing process.

During your first sessions, you and your therapist will discuss the loss that brought you to counseling. You will work with your therapy to create a treatment plan that meets your needs and helps you to process at a pace that honors you. 

In additional sessions, you will spend time getting support and learning skills that will help you to manage the interpersonal distress, distress tolerance, and relational-building skills to help you as you adjust to your new normal outside of therapy. Understanding how to acknowledge, sit with, and address the wide range of emotions that can accompany grief is a key part of this journey that your therapist can help you work through.