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Grief Counseling
Grief is not a problem to be solved – it’s an experience to be carried.
Grief is the last act of love that we give.
Grief is not a problem to be solved – it’s an experience to be carried. It’s one of those core human experiences that everyone endures. Yet very few of us are taught how to navigate, how to talk about, or how to carry grief. Grief should be held in ways that honor ourselves and what or those that we have lost.
It often feels like our culture puts a time-limit on grief. Your job may give you 3 days of bereavement, after a week or two calls and people checking-in on you may stop altogether; however, 85-90% pf people who sustain a significant loss will meet diagnostic criteria for depression within 12 months of the loss if support is not received. Grief is complex and impacts us in so many ways – simply navigating the waves of grief that follow a loss can be disorientating. You don’t have to carry this alone, help is available, and healing happens here.
You Deserve to Feel Better
90% of Transformational Therapy clients and their families would recommend Transformational Therapy Services
When you are grieving someone who is right in front of you…
A very common type of grief that is not commonly talked about is when you are grieving someone who is right in front of you – a family member with a serious illness who isn’t the same as they used to be, a loved one with a traumatic brain injury, Alzheimer’s or Dementia, where they may look like themselves, but can’t connect in the same ways. Caring for others takes a significant toll and while we know that support persons also need support, the time and resources are not always easily accessible.
Caring for someone else, whether it’s a family member, friend, or loved one, can be demanding and challenging. It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support to help you cope with the responsibilities of caregiving. Here are some ways to get support:
Join a Support Group: Consider joining a support group for caregivers where you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences. Support groups provide a safe space to share your feelings, exchange practical advice, and receive emotional support from people who understand what you’re going through. Some online free resources can be found at: https://www.caregiveraction.
Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor for individual counseling sessions. A mental health professional can provide you with tools to manage stress, cope with caregiver burnout, and navigate the complex emotions associated with caregiving. Transformational Therapy Services in Rockford Minnesota offers grief and caregiving support and therapy.
Educate Yourself: Take the time to educate yourself about the condition or illness of the person you’re caring for. Understanding their needs, challenges, and treatment options can help you feel more empowered and prepared to provide the best possible care.
Set Boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs and well-being as a caregiver. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, delegate tasks to others, and take breaks to rest and recharge. Here is a great article that can help you to understand what these boundaries may look like for you and how to help hold boundaries: https://mhanational.org/
Connect with Community Resources: Explore community resources and support services available to caregivers in your area. This may include respite care services, home health aides, meal delivery programs, and transportation services to help lighten your caregiving load. Transformational Therapy Services provides grief therapy and can connect you to other community resources for additional forms of support.
Stay Connected: Stay connected with friends, family members, and social support networks. Don’t hesitate to reach out to loved ones for emotional support, practical assistance, or simply someone to talk to when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your daily routine. Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, meditation, or spending time outdoors. Taking care of yourself will help you maintain your physical and emotional well-being as a caregiver.
Stay Informed about Legal and Financial Matters: Make sure you understand your rights and responsibilities as a caregiver, as well as any legal or financial issues that may arise. Seek guidance from legal and financial professionals if needed to ensure you’re making informed decisions.
Be Kind to Yourself: Remember that caregiving can be challenging, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or frustrated at times. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion as you navigate the ups and downs of caregiving.
Know When to Seek Help: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or unable to cope with the demands of caregiving, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with support and guidance to help you navigate the challenges of caregiving and prioritize your own well-being.
Remember that you don’t have to navigate the challenges of caregiving alone. Reach out for support, prioritize your own well-being, and remember that taking care of yourself is essential to being able to provide the best possible care to your loved one.
What is ambiguous loss?
Perhaps you went through a loss that no one else knew about and there wasn’t a card made for your experience. There is something called ambiguous loss – where we lose something that isn’t tangible.
Ambiguous loss can include growing older, having a chronic health condition, becoming a parent, having your children grow up and leave the nest, the loss of an identity, or having to adjust to a new culture. Your loss may be a person, a job, a home, a relationship, or something that wasn’t so easy to define.
Most people don’t want to tackle the concept of grief. We are inundated with messages that we just need to find peace. That we ought to think about all of the good times to get us through. Very few of us are given the time and space necessary to properly address our grief as it arises.
Ambiguous loss refers to a type of loss that lacks clarity or closure, making it difficult for individuals to process their feelings of grief and move forward in the healing process. It’s often not recognized and not many people know to ask about this. These types of loss are a normal and natural part of life and can have a profound impact on mental health in several ways- if any of these sound like things that you are going through, please reach out, we would love to support you on your healing journey as you navigate loss, growth, and change:
Uncertainty and Confusion: Ambiguous loss often involves uncertainty and confusion about the status of a loved one or the circumstances surrounding the loss. This can lead to feelings of disorientation, anxiety, and distress as individuals struggle to make sense of their situation and understand what has happened.
Grief and Mourning: Despite the absence of a clear cause or resolution, individuals experiencing ambiguous loss may still feel a profound sense of grief and mourning for the person or relationship they have lost. This grief can manifest in various ways, including sadness, anger, guilt, and despair.
Complicated Emotions: Ambiguous loss can evoke a range of complicated emotions that are difficult to process, such as longing for the person who is physically absent while also feeling resentful or angry about the uncertainty surrounding their absence. These conflicting emotions can create inner turmoil and distress.
Identity and Meaning: Ambiguous loss can challenge individuals’ sense of identity and meaning, particularly if the loss involves a significant relationship or role in their life. The lack of closure or resolution may leave individuals questioning their sense of self, purpose, and place in the world.
Social and Interpersonal Challenges: Ambiguous loss can strain relationships and social support networks, as others may struggle to understand or validate the experiences of individuals grieving an ambiguous loss. This can lead to feelings of isolation, alienation, and loneliness, further exacerbating mental health challenges.
Coping and Adaptation: Individuals experiencing ambiguous loss may struggle to cope with their grief and adapt to their changed circumstances. Traditional coping strategies and support mechanisms may be less effective in the absence of closure or resolution, leading to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
Physical and Emotional Health: The chronic stress and emotional strain associated with ambiguous loss can take a toll on physical and emotional health over time. Individuals may experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, and other mental health issues as they navigate their grief and uncertainty.
Ambiguous loss can have a significant impact on mental health, creating complex challenges for individuals as they attempt to navigate their grief, find meaning and understanding, and adapt to their changed circumstances. Seeking support from mental health professionals, support groups, and loved ones can be helpful in coping with the unique challenges of ambiguous loss and promoting healing and resilience
How we can help you
If you are thinking about talking to someone about the grief and loss you are dealing with, we want you to know what to expect.
In counseling, you can work through your grief without judgmental reactions to your feelings and beliefs. Your therapist will provide a caring, welcoming space. Here you are free to speak your mind and express your feelings. Through grief therapy, you can begin the healing process.
Therapeutic Process
During your first sessions, you and your therapist will discuss the loss that brought you to counseling. You will work with your therapy to create a treatment plan that meets your needs and helps you to process at a pace that honors you.
In additional sessions, you will spend time getting support and learning skills. Tools that will help you to manage interpersonal distress, distress tolerance, and relational-building skills. In time, these will help you as you adjust to your new normal outside of therapy.
Understanding how to acknowledge, sit with, and address the wide range of emotions that can accompany grief is a key part of this lifelong journey. Your therapist can help you work through this process.
Other Resources for Grief and Loss
There are many podcasts dedicated to exploring grief and loss, offering support, comfort, and insights for listeners navigating the complexities of bereavement. Here are some of the most well-reviewed and well loved podcasts on grief and loss:
“Grief Out Loud” – Produced by the Dougy Center, this podcast explores various aspects of grief and loss through personal stories, interviews with experts, and discussions on topics such as coping with loss, supporting grieving children, and finding meaning after loss.
“The Mindful Grief Podcast” – Hosted by Heather Stang, a thanatologist and grief expert, this podcast offers practical advice, mindfulness practices, and compassionate support for listeners navigating grief and loss. Each episode explores different aspects of the grieving process and offers insights for healing and resilience.
“The Grief Coach Podcast” – Hosted by life coach and grief specialist Penny Potter, this podcast provides support and guidance for individuals navigating grief and loss. Episodes cover a range of topics, including coping with the loss of a loved one, finding meaning after loss, and rebuilding a life after grief.
“What’s Your Grief Podcast” – Hosted by Eleanor Haley and Litsa Williams, the co-founders of the grief support website What’s Your Grief, this podcast explores various aspects of grief and bereavement through honest and relatable conversations. Topics include coping with grief triggers, navigating anniversaries, and finding hope after loss.
“The Art of Dying Well Podcast” – Produced by the Catholic Church in England and Wales, this podcast explores themes of death, dying, and bereavement from a spiritual and philosophical perspective. Episodes cover a range of topics related to grief and loss, including end-of-life care, funeral planning, and finding meaning in loss.
“Grief Encounters” – Hosted by comedians Cariad Lloyd and Griefcast, this podcast features candid and humorous conversations about grief and loss with guests who share their personal experiences of bereavement. The podcast aims to destigmatize grief and provide comfort and solidarity for listeners navigating their own losses.
“Terrible, Thanks for Asking” – Hosted by Nora McInerny, this podcast explores themes of loss, grief, and resilience through honest and empathetic conversations with guests who share their experiences of tragedy and hardship. The podcast offers a compassionate and relatable perspective on navigating life’s challenges.
“The Dead Parent Club Podcast” – Hosted by comedian Hannah Falvey, this podcast offers support and solidarity for listeners who have experienced the loss of a parent. Through personal stories, interviews, and humor, the podcast explores the complexities of grief and celebrates the resilience of those who have lost a parent.
We also recommend books by Pema Chodron, and these other titles:
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief
You’re Not Crazy―You’re Grieving: 6 Steps for Surviving Loss
The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss
Life after Loss: A Practical Guide to Renewing Your Life after Experiencing Major Loss
by Bob Deits
It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand
by Megan Devine
Navigating The Pain
Grief in itself is complex. If you already struggle with depression, anxiety, or area a trauma survivor, new or additional grief can be overwhelming.
You Are Not Alone
Therapy allows you to be with someone who can listen, support, and help you find ways to carry this experience in healthy ways.
Grief Can Re-Emerge
Even if your loss is not recent, or perhaps not shared with others, there is no wrong time to talk about the things that have impacted you.